This song was on one of my Psalty the Singing Songbook records I had as a child. (Yes, I still remember records and most of you should too!)As I've been reflecting back it came to mind...Self Control is just controlling myself; It's listening to my heart and doing what is smart. Self control is the very best way to go so I think that I will control myself!
Hello! My name is Staci Petersen and I'm an OVEREATER! It is so tough to say you are addicted to food. In my mind it is one of the toughest addictions to have. You have to eat to live. An alcoholic can just stay away from the bar. A smoker can just quit smoking. Allbeit, there is a lot of will power and self control that comes with those addictions. But food is always going to be there.
I was watching one of my new favorite shows last night. Extreme Makeover-Weight Loss Edition. This show follows a person for a year while they journey to lose massive amounts of weight. Everyone does well the first 3 months as the trainer actually moves into your house, shops with you, cooks with you, and he even turns a room in your own home into a home gym. Then the next 9 months you are on your own. He sets up a video camera in your home gym and kitchen and watches you and calls and/or emails you daily. Now to me it seems like a "No Fail" set up. I've watched 5 episodes and saw 4 people really transfigure themselves and their lifestyles. But last night I sat and watched tearfully as I understood this guy struggles, he was addicted to food. He did well the first 3 months and lost 110 lbs. (his starting weight was near 500lbs)but the next 9 months he spiraled out of control and was suicidal and ended up gaining 60 of the 110lbs back. The show ended with him checking himself into a food addiction recovery center. That's when I lost it. This could be me, if I don't get myself in check. (yes, I too have been suicidal over my food addiction)
I am an emotional eater. I don't need a reason to eat. I eat when I am happy, sad, stressed, angry. But I really do a majority of my eating in private. I buy things at the grocery store and hide them so I can have it all to myself, I go through the drive-thru when I'm alone and eat. And then eat with my family again when I get home. And these are secrets that I am ashamed of. My favorite things to eat are crunchy and creamy! I love Double Stuf Oreos & now they have Double Stuf Nutter Butters!! Just typing that makes me salivate. My husband has done the grocery shopping in our home for a long time. I'm an overeater and grocery shopping is overwhelming to me. Although, he doesn't really understand why I want him to do the shopping he does it. And for that I am grateful!
Why can't I just look at food as fuel for my body? I have all of the knowledge I need in my head because I have tried losing weight several times over the past 15 years. Lets see, I've done Weight Watchers, Weigh Down, Tops, First Place, I've done my own little thing. I have had a trainer at Training Domain, I've had a trainer at Gold's Gym, and I had a personal trainer that came to my house. I've been a member at CURVES, Gold's Gym, and now back at CURVES. I know what I am supposed to do. And I do well for about 90 days and then I crash and burn. In fact I never really do it long enough for anyone to notice any changes in my body. Which is perhaps the reason that I do crash and burn. I just kind of feel like, if I'm not getting the compliments and encouragment then why do it? I need some cheerleaders cheering me along the way and picking me up when I fall. (hence the reason for this blog!)
Now, you wanna know the really great thing about my husband? Besides that he does most of the grocery shopping! The great thing is...he doesn't care that I'm over a 100 lbs overweight. He loves and accepts me just the way I am! He has never seen me under 200 lbs. Except for one time 7 years ago when I weighed 198 lbs for 2 days!! You wanna know the really bad thing about my husband? Is that he doesn't care how much I weigh! You see B & E really don't like to eat healthy. And there in lies the trouble with my weight loss. I try to change the way I cook and they just really don't enjoy it. I hope they will come around, but it is really difficult. He will grill burgers on the grill and I will have grilled fish with steamed veggies. Yes, I can do it for 90 days, then I cave into their food. So there is where I need the most help. I can't be tempted by those high fat foods that just make tired and nauseated. I have to stay on track for more than 90 days. And just maybe this time I CAN DO IT!!
I saw the show too....it was really sad! I felt bad for him, and Chris his trainer. I think the more you cook healthy that B & E will come around. If there isn't anything else to eat, they'll have too...right?!?! ha ha
ReplyDeleteDon't say "maybe this time you can do it"...YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!! No doubt...I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength!!
Becky